Competing with others

If there is competition at the root of your interpersonal relationships, I'd put money on it that you will have relationship issues. When competition is at the root of a relationship, you may be thinking, "I beat that person" or "I lost to that person". With this perspective, an inferiority or superiority complex may arise. This contributes to seeing others as your adversaries.

You may start to think others are looking down on you or that others will attack you if they see a chance. This makes your experience of the world a scary place! And, do others really give more than a nanosecond of a crap about what you are up to? I'll let you in on a secret...probably not.

If you find yourself having a difficult time being genuinely happy for other people's successes and happiness, this is probably because there is a root of competition in your relationship. I can feel when someone else isn't genuinely happy for me when I experience success in my life and it disconnects us. I tend to pull away from these people.

I really struggled with this myself when I owned a salon. I had a hard time feeling genuinely happy for certain people I designated as competitors and adversaries. And, guess what? My toxic internal competition with them ate at me and caused me to feel inferior or superior, depending on the day. Once I let that shit go, I relaxed and became so much happier. For years I lied to myself, that this internal competition with these other businesses was motivating me to build a better business. This couldn't have been farther from the truth.

"If you know how quickly people forget the will stop living to impress people."

-Christopher Walken

I'd love to hear your thoughts! Please share below in the comments!


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